bowby_jean

In the small hours , life is large.

Fri, 16 May 2008 03:31:43 GMT

The last couple of days has been sooo rough. It seems like everything that can go wrong has and I just want to curl up into a ball and die. NO not really die, I just am about at my breaking point again. Work is going bad and so is everything else. UHHHHH!!!!!

I am writing my story, well at least one of them. Who knows maybe oneday I'll be published and you can say --Hey I used to read her blog! Writing is what I do. I love it, it makes everything okay. I want to get my pain out. This isn't going to be a very happy story, I can tell you that righ now.

I don't know.

why??

Thu, 08 May 2008 02:29:50 GMT

Why? Nothing is going right and I just keep up this pace anymore. I am at the breaking point.I just want the butterflies to come home, you know waht I mean.

Work

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 04:54:22 GMT

Yesterday at work was so wild. The power went out and things went into total confusion. I had to figure out the transaction by hand and then do the tax, but along with her like sixteen items some of them were candy--which in our store has no sales tax, so I had to figure that out too. Oh and get this she decided to do a split tender, part on a gift card, part on her credit card!! I had to verify the balance of her gift card before I could take it because the tansaction wouldn't actually go through until the power came on. Since the computers obviously weren't working ,because they arn't powered by hamsters running on a wheel. -I had to call the hotline number. Simple, right? Wrong!!! Our phones at work are part of an intercom system, when means they are electric. The lady had to call on her cell phone and put it on speaker so I could verify the balance on the card!!! What a Sunday.

OHHHHH I got some of my vacation pictuers back and they are so awsome!! I went to the ZOO!!!!!!

later days

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:30:27 GMT

I am so tried of being a big girl. i used to tell myself all the time that as long as I was healthy my weight really didn't matter, but now I am starting to think that is a load of bull. In the past I refused to use the "F" word, but now I say it all the time I am Fat Fat Fat Fat. I am techniclly obese and I hate it. I am only 4'10 and I weigh almost 180 lbs. I don't know wht to do!!!!!! I am scared to diet because I have food issues. Its like I can't find a happy medium, either I'm eating everything in sight and can't stop, or I am not eating anything at all for days at a time. I have no control over anything.

I know that anorexia and bulimia and even compulsive overeating are all different symptoms of the same illness, and I will never be free of it. I have just been switching symptoms every couple of years. I don't know what to do! I can't diet without it going to an extreme, but I can't eat without going to an extreme either. I need help, but I don't know where to turn.

Greetings

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 03:40:35 GMT

Hey there people! I guess this is my first posting, and I have a little bit of writers block. I will do my best not to bore you all>

I didn't have to work today, which is awesome. However this freedom created a problem all it's own---I am so BOARD!!!!!!!!! I even did the laundry and the dishes, just for something to do. Unfortuantely the only thing I had to do was go and pay my car insurance did not get done, so now I have to pay it before I go to work tomorrow, which is fine but now it is still on my list of things to do, and that is kind of sucky.

I had a frighting revelation today!!Like I said I was board , so I started to write some hanfic but I have been having a real issue with writers block lately and the words would just not come. I decided to get on you tube and watch some hanson fan vids, after about an hour I started to think that there are people with way too much time on their hands. Then it hit me!! These people spend all this time and effort to make these things and I enjoy watching them, but you know each video probably takes a couple of hours to a couple of days to put together, while I spend weeks sometimes months on my stories, what does that say about Me. I have No life, but it gives me joy.

Later days

Bowby